


Mercy II

by Alice_Henry



Series: Mercy [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Death Fantasy, M/M, POV Negan (Walking Dead), Smut, Somewhat, Worst-Case Scenario, bible references !!!, it all goes wrong for rick, it was supposed to be a smut but now it's just creepy af, let's go on with quoting nick cave, omg why do i do that i'm such a bad human being
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 19:45:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13643190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Henry/pseuds/Alice_Henry
Summary: " I don't care about mercy and kindness. Mercy, kindness, compassion, softness and all this shit doesn't save people. I wish it had.Oh, I wish it had. "English is not my native language so I apologize for the mistakes. And I inform you that the quotations marks are french style (« and ») and not english nor american style so don't be surprised.It's better if you read my fic "Mercy" beforehand but it's no necessary.It happens just after the mid-season finale of season 8 and it's from Negan POV.





	Mercy II

The flames were reaching high in the night sky like hands of fire trying to touch the yellow moon. It looked almost sick from the smoke and the scent of burned flesh. I coughed and felt tears spilling in my eyes as I went to the gates of Alexandria, where my people were. Most of them looked in shock, some were angry, some were crying the friends they lost.

 

All because of that fucking Rick Grimes. That egoistic piece of shit, always thinking he was acting for the greater good, like he was always doing the right thing, like he was approved by God Himself. _Holy Rick Grimes_ , I called him once. Holy fuck, yeah. He could pretend he was better than me : he was not. Not even by a tiny inch. He killed friends, husbands, sons, fathers, brothers.

 

MY MEN.

MY PEOPLE.

 

« That filthy fuckin' son of a bitch ! » I roared, waving Lucille.

 

They looked at me, astonished. Everybody could see the fury in my eyes, emanating from my body like a fever. But no one could know how much hate I felt in this precise moment. More than the grief, the pain, the sadness and the anger I felt, what submerged me was how hypocrite Rick was.

 

I was fine with being called an asshole because I knew I was.

He could never live with that. Rick was too proud of himself to admit that he was as much an asshole as I was.

 

We were the same, whether he liked or not.

 

* * *

 

 

I slammed the door behind me and went straight to bed. I kept my shoes and jacket on, not bothering to take them off for now. I had too much things going on in my head. _Negan, what can we do ? Negan, what do we do ? Negan, do you know what to do ? Negan, help us._

 

**Save us.**

 

Well, the only thing that was going to save me was some Jack's. I found the bottle on my nightstand and drunk it down. Some of it landed on my beard and I groaned. I had no time to shave. I had people to save, people I still could save.

 

I needed to save them from Holy Rick Grimes, that faker.

_**That fucker !** _

 

With a jolt, my body woke up like I was being electrocuted. I remembered his eyes as he looked up at me with fear and rage. He was feeling so much and so intensely, and I received his fear and his hatred joyfully. I felt everything he felt like a murderous deity.

 

Hate me, fear me, see me. Give me attention. Give me hate. Give me fear. Give me grief. Give me resentment. Give yourself to me, all of your being, all of your feelings and every inch of your body.

 

You owe me.

 

You owe me lives.

You owe me respect.

You are **mine** , Rick Grimes.

 

I waited for him for hours in this dark house of his. His kids were gone. They took a very few belongings with them. I walked through it and went in the bathroom. I stood in the shower, still clothed, without putting the water on.

 

And I grinned when I remembered how hard I fucked Rick that day. He looked so helpless then, like a puppy who wonders if he'll get kicked for pissing on the rug. And he was marvelous to fuck, so desperate for his punishment, so eager to have absolution, so craving to be saved.

 

And I saved him by giving him what he wanted : a rough punishment, one that wasn't dealed with pain or suffering but with absolute and merciless pleasure. One that burned outside and inside and left him with nothing but ashes.

 

Seemed like he kindled that tiny spark and set the fire ablaze again.

 

Then I went back to the kitchen where I waited for him. I felt him coming closer before even hearing or seeing him. I knew he was coming, it was... pure instinct. I watched him enter with his rifle, calling his children. And I smiled.

 

How determined he looked ! How fierce !

And that's when I understood what changed in him. He wasn't a prey anymore, but a predator just like me. And I needed to assure my dominance over him, just to set the record straight once for all.

 

I pushed him over and I hit him and I crushed him and I yelled at him. I was bigger and I was stronger but he fought back. I caught a glimpse of his eyes and I stood still for a split second.

 

He wasn't defeated. The fire still burned inside him and I knew that he was going to burn me down too.

 

He pushed me on my back and took Lucille, reading to smash my head like I did with the ginger guy.

 

That wouldn't do AT ALL.

HOW DARE HE ?

NO ONE can touch _my_ Lucille unless I say so.

NO ONE can touch _you_ unless I say so.

 

I managed to take Lucille back but I still had to take over Rick Grimes once again.

I'll make him sorry.

He'll beg for my mercy.

 

There he will be, broken and battered, surronded by piles of dead bodies, blood and death clinging to him like so many fearsome tendrils. And there I will be, casually walking to him, Lucille in my hand. I'll be offering him my other hand like Jesus fuckin' Christ, and just like Him, I will give Rick mercy, redemption, salvation.

 

But first he will have to get through more chaos and decay. He'll have to face his worst fear : his own desires. His own needs.

 

Himself, really.

 

He'll come back with me. Everyone will know but no one would cheer or celebrate until I'll tell so. None of us will say a word in the car, sitting next to each other, shoulders touching, our bodies tensing up : his with fear, mine with playful desire. I'll take his hand (I expect he'll be too upset to walk on his own or even trying to escape) and guide him through my home until we reach my quarters.

 

I'll let him sit and run him a hot bath. He'll be soaked with blood and sweat and there's no way I'll even touch him with the tip of my fingers. Then I'll wait for him to realize how screwed he'll be. I'll let terror rush over him like a deadly wave and only then, I'll come back all nice and gentle.

 

« You've been a very, very dirty boy, Holy Grimes. I'll grin. I'll rectify that right now. Get you ass up and let's get you cleaned up. »

 

He won't answer. He won't move. Fuck, that man is obstined. I give him that it can be a good thing : he's a pretty good adversary, a driven and resourceful man. But there and then, he will only be the shadow of that man. It'll be pretty easy to carry him in the bathroom, just like undressing him.

 

« You don't even dare look at me, Rick. You look like a beaten puppy. I thought you'd like me being nice like that. You can see how caring I can be now, huh ? You doubted me when I told ya. It's about time you see it for yourself. I mean, it all began in a shower so it's kinda appropriate to end this in a bath. »

 

He'll probably think I'll be trying to kill him then. No way. Too troublesome to carry him back down. I should work on that line, just in case.

 

It would be too easy to fuck him then. No, no, no. I'll be kind. I'll be gentle. I'll be loving. He won't even be there, not really : he'll be more of an empty body than the real Rick Grimes I know. I'll hop in the bath with him. I'll scratch the dried blood out of his nails, his beard, his hair. I'll wash him carefully, I'll let him soak the warmth and the awful reality in. How ironic ! He'll be in the worst situation ever and he will realize it wrapped in the arms of the man who made that happen. He won't be able to escape, only to endure until I decide to end his suffering. And who knows how long it will take...

 

I'll take pride in knowing I'm the one who made him surrender, the one who broke him, and the only one able to break him further.

 

« I'll make you dry. Don't even bother to put clothes on. You know you won't need them, don't you ? »

 

I'll bring him back to my room by taking his hand after dressing myself up. Pretty sure his legs will be weak like a fawn's learning to walk. So I'll carry him, my resentful and reluctant bride-to-be, until we reach the couch and I'll seat him down. I'll probably offer him something to eat and drink. Yeah, I should prepare that too : the man will be hungry by then, even if he won't admit it.

 

« My stomach is in knots, he'll say weakly. I can't eat anything. You disgust me. You're not even a man, you're nothing but a monster. I can't even bear to look at you or even breathe the same air as yours ! »

 

But I'll be hungry. Jeez ! That will be a busy day, after all. Taking revenge is not an easy thing to do. So if he wouldn't eat, I'll do. Slowly, enjoying every bite and staring at him all along. I wonder what will be more enjoyable : the food or the look on his face all the while.

 

« You're sure you don't want some, Holy Grimes ?  I'll grin. It's pretty good chicken, you know. And you also know that you won't die of hunger before days, hm ? So you'll better eat a lil' somethin'. _Please_ , be my guest... **now.**  »

 

I'll point him the chair next to mine while pronouncing these last words, making clear that he won't have a choice. I'll make him an offer he can't refuse, to quote The Godfather. So he'll sit and watch me until I get tired and put some food on his plate. And you can be sure, Holy Grimes, I'll watch you eat until there's nothing left on this table.

 

« Good boy. My good, terrified, broken boy, I'll say, patting him on the head like a pet. Don't you look like a lamb before the wolf... And you know... I'll whisper, getting closer to his ear, smiling at him pretending he doesn't mind our proximity, after eating Grandma, the Big Bad Wolf was still hungry... »

 

I'll eat him up, I'll eat him whole, I'll devour every inch of his being.

I'll lay him down on my bed with a gentleness so strong he'll know that it's fake. Would it, really ? Maybe I'd like to be soft to him : after all, he'll be dead pretty soon. So... I could be _merciful_. Again. One last time.

 

I'll caress every curve and dip of his body, trying to imprint it on my mind, making sure he both loves and hates the slowness of it all. I'll kiss him, I'll lick him, I'll hold him close to me, I'll mark his body with my teeth, my nails, my lips and my scent. And he won't respond. He'll be hot, he'll be hard, he'll be staring at me, but I'll now it's a fakery.

 

« Are you tired, Rick ? Do you want this to be over ? »

 

I'll bruise his arms with a strong grip of my hands, just to be sure he pays attention to me. My breath short, his so soft it'll be barely noticeable, he'll just watch me with that sad, sad, sad look of his.

 

« I'll take that as a yes. Sure. It must be the worst evening of your life... You lost your friends, you lost that black girlfriend of yours.. You lost your own kids, for fuck's sake ! »

 

He'll stop and stare. Angrily ? No, sadly. He'll be far more than brokenhearted. He'll be all alone, more lonely than anyone left on this Earth.

 

« Well, you surely think it's all your fault. And you're right. That's what you get for misbehaving, Holy Grimes. »

 

I'll grip his throat, feeling his pulse, his blood running through his veins, sensing his breath coming out with difficulty. And I'll drown in his anger and misery, welcoming it over me like fresh ocean waves on a hot day.

 

How beautiful does that man look when he's mad. How pityful he's not one of my men.

How good he'll be mine to claim, even for a short time.

 

I'll smile and watch every inch of his face wake up from slumber when I'll purr slowly, with a gigantic and cruel pleasure :

 

« If that can help you, Rick... Know that I made it quick for 'em. »

 

Oooh, jeez ! I'm sure I'll land flat on my back, him on top of me, roaring with endless fury and grief. I would have broken him beyond repair, he'll have nothing to lose except for his life, which he won't care much about at his point. I'll unleash the beast inside of him, the monster he's been trying to hide and keep locked all this time behind his lies, his pretenses of being good, of doing the right thing all the time, not like Negan, oh no no no, I'm not like Negan at all, I'm Rick Holy Grimes !

 

« You see it now, Rick ? You know, right ? You know how wrong you've been all this time ! You and I are the same. No, not the same, no no no ! We're complete each other like two faces of a coin ! And you've been too much of a coward to admit that until now... until it's too la- »

 

He'll punch me, no doubt about that. Rage will be visible all over and around him, red and bright and furious. His hands will go to my throat and squeeze, but I'll stop him with no gentleness. I'll be done with being merciful. I don't care about mercy and kindness. Mercy, kindness, compassion, softness and all this shit doesn't save people. I wish it had.

 

Oh, I wish it had.

 

I'll beat him up. It'll be easy : he'll be nothing but a whimp at this point. Lying on my bed, covered in blood and bruises, he'll watch me.

 

« Fuck, these sheets just got cleaned up. So did you. Why d'ya always ruin all the fun, Rick ? I'll ask with false sadness. Well, you know who you remind me of ? Jesus on the cross. On the verge of dying after a long suffering, surrounded by his ennemies and accepting gracefully his tremendous death for his sins and for the sins of his people. »

 

I'll snicker before kneeling down next to him and petting his hair. I'll smile before wondering out loud, softly :

 

« If you're Jesus fuckin' Christ then... who am I in this scenario.. ? Am I Satan, the source of all evil and wicked things ? Well, I don't think so. But if that can make you feel better, see me like the Father of Lies, please ! I lie a lot, so I won't mind. I don't mind being pointed at and be called a bad man or a murderous fucker because I know I am. I'm aware of that. You're not, or : you don't want to be. But I know you've been aware of that for a tiny, tiny, I'll murmur just next to his ear, my thumb and index barely an inch apart, tiny moment. And that's enough for me. »

 

I'll stand up and make of show of looking for Lucille and taking her in my hand. I'll wave her around, I'll grin and look at Rick, at his stern and solemn face. Then I'll laugh.

 

« Don't you think I'll use Lucille on you. I don't want to smash that pretty head of yours. Maybe I should choke you. But it's a bother. My hands hurt a bit. I think I have your hatchet somewhere... There it is ! »

 

Glistening in the moon light, I'll show him the blade. Running my finger on it, it'll cut my hand. But it won't bother me.

 

« Pretty sharp. Get up. GET UP, I'll repeat after catching his surprised look. You know that Jesus had to climb the Golgotha before finding death, huh ? You'll have a to climb yours. »

 

I'll put clean clothes on him. I'll make sure he looks all nice, I'll even clean his face. After getting dressed up, we'll get out of my apartements where everyone will be surrounding us on the sides, perfect arranged lines of Saviors, of Littles Negan's. And they will cheer me, and they will smile at me, and they will celebrate me while insulting and spitting at Rick. Head down, no words coming out from his mouth, he'll wait for this to be over.

 

« Heads up, champ, I'll say smoothly to him. It's your grand final, after all. »

 

We'll walk and climb the stairs until we reach the roof, where a ecstatic crowd will be waiting for us. On the floor, a large tarp and an old stool. My lieutenants will push the people to cheer and sing, and I'll stop them. I'll say a few words, a great speech... that I should work on.

 

Next to me, Rick will stare peacefully at all these people who will watch him die. He wouldn't care about his fate anymore. He wouldn't care about anything at all.

 

I'll take his hand and lead him to the tarp, putting his head on the stool gently. I'll take the hatchet and crouch next to him and murmur to him, and him only :

 

« I saved all these people. I save them everyday. I save them from the dead, from hunger and thirst, from heat and cold, and I saved them from you. You're no Jesus. You're John the Baptist : you're not dying for anyone's sins. You're dying for me. So I can be loved and admired and worshipped. Thank you for that, **Holy Grimes**.»

 

He'll tremble and shake, but I won't check if he'll be crying. I'll swing the hatchet, but maybe I'll take an axe. I don't want him to have a painful death like that crazy japanese author who messed up his suicide, years and years ago. I want it fast and clean : hey, it'll be the least I could do for him. That man really riled me up but he challenged me like no one else before. He'll deserve a quick death.

 

Surronded by the chanting crowd, transported by their dedication, I'll lift the axe. And I'll swing it in a powerful move on Rick's neck.

 

And that would be over.

 

* * *

 

« - Negan ! yells Simon from the other side of my room's door.

\- What ?! I groan, waking up from my half-sleep, half-fantasy.

\- We need to talk about Rick and his people. Plan our next move, quickly.

\- 'Coming. »

 

 _Well, seems that it's not over_ , I think while taking Lucille.

_**Not yet.** _

 

**Author's Note:**

> " The moon was turned toward me  
> Like a platter made of gold  
> My death, it almost bored me  
> So often was it told 
> 
> And I cried 'Mercy'... "
> 
> \- Mercy by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.
> 
>  
> 
> · The japanese author Negan references is Yukio Mishima, who killed himself (with quite some difficulty) the traditionnal japanese way after trying to do a coup (he was a far-right minded man) in November 1970, but he failed. I'm not going to describe to whole thing, you can look it up easily on Wikipedia or else.


End file.
